Melanie Tenney - "A proper new Ballad, showing a merry heist of one Jemie of Woodicock Hill" (Anon.)

             Dated 1610, the original copy of this text lacks specific origins. This Ballad, printed in London, is attributed to an anonymous author. The original text can be found in the Bodleian Library at the University of Oxford, but also photocopied onto the Early English Books Online webpage. Unfortunately, there was only one image provided, and the photocopier smudged a majority of the lines 24 and 25.

            Ballads were popular during the Golden Age and were often set to a popular music, or meant to create a new tune. This ballad in particular is set to “a new tune, called Woodicocks Hill.” The story follows the life of Jemie and his cheating wife. He becomes cuckold, but instead of rebuking her, he is willing to let the offense slide should the man pay him in return. The idea of a man cuckold is quite common in early English works, especially Shakespeare.  

            For this edition, I chose to make a number of textual changes only when it would not subtract from the rhyme or rhythm of the work. I first altered the original words into their more contemporary spelling. For example, I changed f’s to s’s and u’s to v’s, as well as dropping and adding certain letters. If the original word is spelled “wil” or “shal,” then the edited version would be spelled “will” or “shall.” I chose to alter the spelling of most words to make the text as accessible as possible for any type of reader; however, I did not alter the punctuation. Again, all changes were made only if they did not lose the rhyme or original wording.

            Despite changes in spelling, this rendering of the text maintains all of the original copy’s words that are no longer common in the English language. For unknown definitions, I have used the Oxford English Dictionary in almost every footnote. For some phrases not found in the OED, I utilized Gordon Williams’, A Dictionary of Sexual Language and Imagery in Shakespearean and Stuart Literature.

A proper new Ballad, showing a merry heist of one Jemie of Woodicock

Hill, and his wife, how he spied through a door, one making of him Cuckold[1],
And how that for lucre* of money, he was well contented therewith.               profit

To be sung to a new tune, called Woodicocks Hill.

One Jemie there was that dwelt* in a town,                                           lived

   As proper a man as proper might be:

A wife he had would scold and frown,

   And evermore call him noddie noddie[2].

5     A wife he had would scold and frown,

   And evermore call him noddie, noddie.

This Jemie did rise betime* in the morne,*                                             early/morning

   And forth* of his doors he hasted truly:                                              moved forward

But before he came home he was crowned with a (horn[3])

10      For his wife did use her hey nonnie nonnie.

But before he came, ec.*                                                                         etc.

Jemie did put his lambs to field,

   Thinking good sheep that they would be,

But all his lambs were turned to rams,

15      And the horns they fell to Jemie, Jemie.

But all his, ec.

Jemie he hied* to Woodicock hill,                                                          went quickly

   For there his business lay truly:

In which time another did work his will[4],

20      And tickled[5] his wives hey nonnie nonnie.

In which, ec.

Now god a mercy said Jemie’s wife

   evermore welcome shall thou be:

Ill love thee…[6]

 25      Because thou hast…

Ill love thee, ec.

Jemie at length came home with speed,

   And crept to the door so closely:

And through the key hole he spied indeed,

30      How one there did tickle his, ec.

And through the, ec.

Zounds[7] quoth* Jemie, and then he swears,                                           quoted

   Is this possible for to be

Come open the door, Ill have him by the ears,

35      For playing the rogue with my, ec,

Come, etc.

Thou knave[8] (quoth Jemie) Ill make thee rue*,                                       regret

   That ever thou didst come here truly:

Ill send for the Constable, Ill tell thee true,

40      And have thee plagued* most mightily,                                               tormented

Ill send, ec.

Ill cause you both be whipped sure*,                                                      for certain

   Throughout the town most shamefully:

Repent if you shall while your lives endure,

45      For playing the knave and the whore truly.

Repent, ec.

Then said the man this Jemie too:

   I pray now contented be:

Ill give you five pounds, make no more adoo*,                                      to cease from

50      Because I have tickled your, ec,

Ill give you, ec.

Will thou (qd. Jemie) this match then Ill make,

   If that five pound thou will give me:

My wife forever thou shalt forsake,

55      And never more meddle with her, ec.

My wife, ec.

But when shall I this money receive,

   That which you promised have to me:

At Michelmas[9] next I will it thee give,

60      If that thou so contented be.

At ec.

Then (quoth Jemie) for that which is pass,

   upon thy faire* promise I will thee forgive:                                         money

Then Ill not come near thy wife by two stones (cast[10])

65      So long as we both together shall live.

Then, ec.

Now friends, what think you this Jemie of:

   That for lucre of money contented was he,

Lo[11] put up Cuckold: it make me to laugh:

70      So I took up my pen, and wrote noddie noddie.

Lo put up, ec.

And evermore after this Jemie he,

   Grew up to promotion every day:

Knight of the Forked Order[12] truly:

75      From that time forth was contented alway.

Knight, ec.

Farewell friend Jemie, look well to thy charge,

   Thy name shall never be known for me:

Look well to thy wife, let her not run at large,

80      But let it alway be a warning to thee.

Look, ec.

Would I were as sure of an hundred pounds,

   As this same Jemie doth think truly:

Now some other besides himself in the town,

85      Sometimes will meddle with his hey, ec.

Now some, ec.

And so to conclude, I am loath* to be long,                                           hate

   I pray thee Jemie take it not heavily:

I pray give me some beer for singing this song,

90      And so I pray God make you all merry, merry

I pray, ec.

Finis*                                                                                                       The End

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[1] Cuckold- a derisive name for a husband of an unfaithful wife (OED)

[2] Noddie noddie- Used in songs as part of a refrain. Can appear in alternate forms such as nonnie-nonnie. (OED)

[3] Horn- This text was placed in parenthesis like the original edition, but moved to the line above its first printing. For the word itself, Gordon Williams, author of A Dictionary of Sexual Language and Imagery in Shakespearean and Stuart Literature, implies that a “horn” is worn by a shamed party.

[4] Will- sexual innuendo for the male sex organ

[5] Tickled- sexual innuendo

[6] This section of the text was smudged on the original copy. I chose not to guess or create a potentially incorrect version that would later be taken as a true translation.

[7] Zounds- an euphemistic abbreviation of “By God’s wounds” (OED)

[8] Knave- An unprincipled man, given to dishonorable and deceitful practices; a base and crafty rogue (OED)

[9] Michelmas- The feast of St. Michael on September 29th, one of the quarter days in England, Ireland, and Whales (OED)

[10] stones cast- reference to distance (OED)

[11] Lo- Its usage in this passage seems unclear. The most fitting definition from the OED states, an interjection of vague meaning, corresponding approximately to the modern O! or Oh! (OED)

[12] Knight of the Forked Order- Williams depicts the term “forked” as a sexual image of a woman with her legs spread open, insinuating she is loose with men. Being a member of the “Forked” Order is to be among a group of men cuckold by their wives.